What's New With Ashley Greene?

The Skateland "premiere" (sure) was a few nights ago, and Ashley Greene showed up looking half-checked-out in a Polyphonic Spree-inspired pink dress. It's okay, AG. You'll be free of this movie soon. Except not really: here's a release date calendar for Skateland, which by May 27th will be in about 30 theaters total (none in Boston, SIGH). If you get a chance to check it out, let me know. We'll be doing a round-up of the critical responses later this week.

AG's been doing a whole lot of press, so if you want to hear thirty times about how she just found out about The Cure and Joy Division and how when she wore 80s-makeup she looked like her mom and how she identifies with what sounds like a pretty basic coming of age story and how the fifty movies that have been "coming out" for two years are still "coming out," you certainly can! Here's one with CBS News, and here's another one with the ironically titled (in this case) ComingSoon.Net (which I have not even watched yet). There's also an interview with her that mentions The Hunger Games for literally no reason at all. Way to go for those pageviews, guys!

Also, there's a few pretty creepy contests out there: if you want to win Ashley Greene's bikini you can enter on Skateland's facebook page. A MySpace contest is even more explicit about the perverted shit you're probably going to do with a t-shirt of hers you can win. "Now's your chance to get to second base with Ashley Greene! Second base is still under the shirt, right?" No, second base is anal now. You should know, of all people, MySpace!

In short, the drive to get people to see Skateland is a little desperate. And it's still only open in a few cities! What are they going to make Ashley Greene do if it ever goes wide? I don't like the image I just accidentally conjured.

(Skateland is, according to Variety, for sale at Cannes, along with Greene and Kellan Lutz's after-school-special about lacrosse, A Warrior's Heart. That seems kind of weird, right? I mean, Skateland has already been released, with a full-on marketing push, after a false start with a full-on marketing push. And it's supposedly for sale at Cannes?)

Meanwhile, Greene was recently spotted palling around with her ex-boyfriend, the comically named Brock Kelly. Watch JustJared slip the phrase "getting back together" into as many sentences as he can ("...for lunch") here.

But that's not the big AG rumor, as I alluded to before. Multiple outlets reported that Greene "said hi" to newly single Leonardo DiCaprio, and that spiraled in the course of a few days to "they hardcore fucking all the time." Not to let a good story get in the way of the truth, but WHAT IF THIS IS TRUE? WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

My sources (ha ha ha, but REALLY! Sort of) give me two competing theories.

ZL: Leo Dicapriobro breaks up w/ Bar & there are like three articles about it that mention he recently met Ashley Greene, in like the same breath. Does Greene have the BEST PUBLICIST EVER or is she REALLY the preferred rebound spot for all available Hollywood dick?
SM: From what I know she rides slut waves with a longboard and the dude I know that hit that kind of hates her but tolerates her shit because pussy.
ZL: Well, yeah.

AW: Pretty sure Leo & Kevin Connelly are dating/fuck buddies. So Ashley makes sense, because she's friends with Kevin. She loves bearding, huh?
ZL: This again? I didn't know about Leo gay rumors. I was going to congratulate AG for fucking way above her station.
AW: This isn't even rumor, this is my own personal belief. YMMV. She very well may be fucking her way up to the top. I approve of this.

ZL: I hear from another person that Leo is totally gayception ("Where's the dick? Where's the dick?"). So is AG prime hollywood pussy or just a beard for hire? Or both?
SM: Leo is def not gay. He parties at the douchebag straight clubs when in NYC. He's also getting ugly.

Feel free to continue speculating, everybody, YMMV.

Finally, Ashley Greene won the "sexiest tweeter" award from Victoria's Secret readers, so, uh, congrats! This guy definitely agrees:

Have a good Sunday!