I don't really feel like believing that Ashley Greene is at war with Denise Jonas, even if it seems like she totally is. Life is too short. So when Denise Jonas reassured her followers that Joe was with the family for the Superbowl, I didn't think twice about it. They are not at odds, even though it makes perfect sense that they would be, they are not. But IF they WERE at odds, Ashley Greene WOULD HAVE found a GREAT way to get revenge: she's having her 24th birthday party this weekend in Las Vegas. She couldn't have picked a more symbolic location unless she chose Premarital Pussy, PA (and that's a former Shaker village and the VFW hall is the only place big enough but it was booked for Bingo already). She's having a party at a club, and I guess you can actually like, go? For thirty bucks? I don't know. It's weird. Is Ashley Greene going to profit from her own birthday?But anyway, I'm not going to investigate that shit, that is for the Tom Haverfords of the world and I am more of a Ron Swanson. The point is, it's Ashley Greene's birthday this weekend. Happy birthday, Ashley Greene! Many happy (box office) returns!
(Let me take a moment here to randomly endorse the Twitter feed of AG's friend and party guest Andrea Kelley, who is clearly AG's coolest friend. I am basing my opinion purely on this tweet: "Fuck, I love Thom Yorke.")
In terms of Breaking Dawn, these last two weeks we've been slogging through some pretty boring crap. It's getting better, though. We're almost out of this, I can feel it. But in the meantime, if you want to discuss ridiculous vampire/werewolf biology, the squandered feminist potential of Leah Clearwater, or the pros and cons of Jacob as a narrator, now would be a great time. Or, in the comments, you can just speculate as to what Alice, Jasper, and Emmett have been up to lately, as I did here.
I'm going to continue to try and connect the many threads I've started over these last few months. Usually the impetus to do so comes from strange places. Like Justin Bieber going off-script about abortion, or crazed fans writing Real Person Fanfiction. If you have not read "Maybe It's Not Too Late" and my thoughts on it, please do. I need other people to reckon with that thing.
Previously:
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